Some changes

When I first got here I felt so out of place, everyone did. You are given a bed and an area to make your own for the time you are here, but it just didnt feel like I belonged so my walls were pretty bare in comparison to the rest. I was resisting settling in because I just wanted to learn whatever it was God had me here for, and leave as quickly as the end of August came. Crossing the border back into Mexico was so so odd. I caught myself calling it home to Cydney. whhaaa was I saying and why did I feel so comfortable. We went thrifting in Arrowhead and as a "welcome to your new home after a month of being home present" to myself, I hung a peice of junk metal on my wall.
So, why the shift from complaceny to utter love of the dorm and even...can I say it...adobada? read on:

Th retreat was almost, a pinnacle moment in my relationship with God. So many things that I have been thinking through or attempting to understand about myself surfaced. I completely doubted the trip from the beginning, not even looking forward to it at all. I thought that being so close to home would only be a distraction, not even. All of my presuppositions were ridiculously off. This is becoming a constant behavior...well its more like a a three step process..1) I assume something will be a certain way, but I pray about it...with doubts like the lame human I am 2) God comes through, always 3) I forget why I never trusted Him in the first place... then repeat the process relatively soon.
Yea so I think the greatest part about the week was on Wednesday. We fasted and from sevenish to 2:30 we had to find a area to sit with only our Bible and a notebook, and couldnt speak for those hours. We were given a packet? I guess that is what is was, that asked us various questions about our life and made us look back on our past and focus on our present to see how and what God is working on through us and most importantly what we need to let go of.
Coming back together when it was all complete, we each went over how the day was for us, two life expereinces that we have gained insight from, what we are saying "no" to [or letting go of], what we are saying "yes" to [or changing in our lives in accordance with Gods plan..not our own], and...a final statement that sums up everything. The past and the present.
I am sure that I have not talked for six hours before, but never intentionally and with the mindset of I am not going to eat or move from this place until I discover what it is that is holding me back from giving everything to my Creator.
I dont think it is really necessary for me to type out on here all of the things that I told the other interns that day, but I would not mind sharing with you, so ask me, I am open to it.

Well, I am sure there is more, but the Wendy Peffercorn calls, and that is a beckon I cant resist.